A big part of depression is feeling really lonely, even if you're in a room full of a million people. -Lilly Singh
During my first semester of college I went through a depression. As always, we never know that we're facing depression until something else occurs in our life that either brings us out of it or brings us deeper into it. I can so vividly see myself sitting down in the corner of my dorm room at Blake Hall in the dark, alone. I used to listen to Danity Kane's song "Is Anybody Listening" on repeat. Not because the song itself related to me, but those three words along with "Can anyone answer my prayers" was is exactly what my soul and spirit was wanting, but the body--the physical appearance--showed no vulnerability or signs of needing help.
Moving from Lafayette to Baton Rouge, I was still expected to show up every weekend for church and church activities. Even though the drive is only an hour away, I never had enough time to study or meet genuine friends and get connected in college because I always had to go home. At school I didn't have many people to talk to and when I was back at home I still didn't have anyone to talk to. This was one of the darkest times of my life. I realized that this moment was the moment when I began to drift away from God. Once my second semester came I got a job at the mall because I needed an excuse not to go home. I, unfortunately, got caught up with the wrong group of friends and went to a bar for the first time. Needless to say this friendship didn't last too long, but I was longing for friendship and at the time they were listening they heard me desperately wanting people to hang out with and not be alone.
During my college years I was nowhere near the Godly woman I am today. I was going out almost every weekend, underage drinking, and really just living my best life. I still got my work done though *pats self on the back* I had so much fun and made so many memories, but was I glorifying God while living my best life? Not at all. In 1 Corinthians 15: 33 says, "bad company corrupts good character." My depression caused me to seek companionship from people who I should not have been seeking companionship from. The devil knew what I was going through and distracted me with what seemed like good friendships.
To the college student going through depression and wanting friendship, if you truly want to live for God, don't get distracted. In this moment your spirit is vulnerable and can be corrupted very easily. You are stronger than your depression, but you are not stronger than the desires that come from the depression. If you need friendship, join organizations that line up with what you believe in i.e Campus Ministry, Habitat for Humanity, NAACP, Black Student Union, (if your school offers these) and so many more. These are organizations that will allow you to meet like minded people and still be true to yourself as a believer. Also don't listen to depressing songs (haha) these sad songs that you think are getting you through are only feeding the depression--it's not really helping, trust me.
If you have suffered from depression during any season of your life i'd love to know how you overcame it in the comments below. If you would like me to pray for you, send me an email or leave me a comment if you feel comfortable doing so. Dont forget to like and share this post if you feel this helped you.
Love, Light, and Peace to you.